


How Shall I Keep You?

by itspixiesthings



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: (inspired by), Blood, Death, Fear, Gore, Graphic Violence, Grimdark, Guro, M/M, Masochism, Murder, Pain, Sadism, Vivisection, drugged, myspace au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-27
Updated: 2016-04-27
Packaged: 2018-06-04 20:04:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6673699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itspixiesthings/pseuds/itspixiesthings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>General Hux has turned against the First Order's Supreme Leader, killing Snoke in a grand coup to seize power and control within the Order. Unfortunately Kylo Ren did not side with him, and he awakens after battle to find himself paralyzed and at the mercy of the very crazed and power hungry Hux....</p>
            </blockquote>





	How Shall I Keep You?

**Author's Note:**

> Fic is set post The Force Awakens, non canon compliant
> 
> WARNING: GRIMDARK DEATH FIC, PLEASE READ WITH DISCRETION
> 
> Dedicated to currentlykyluxtrash for getting me down this damn rabbit hole :D

His eyes fluttered open, reality a blur of colour for a brief moment before it was brought into focus. He could see Hux standing over him, and for one breath it was a comfort. The bright orange of the man's hair contrasted with the jet black of his uniform the first thing he saw before the blurred lines sharpened to show his face. A familiar sight, welcome in the midst of the fog that clung to his mind like cotton. As his mind sharpened in tandem with his sight, however, he remembered with a rush that this was no longer a friendly face.

Memories came screaming to life in his mind like a tidal wave. He remembered the rush of the Force through his veins, the propulsion of power as he fought. Images sprang to him of the red flash of his lightsaber and the smell of burnt flesh. Kylo Ren was strong, _powerful_. He was more than a match for most of the First Order turncoats that he fought off like a swarm of angry insects. Death and blood had been all around him, the bitter sting of rage and betrayal still coursing through him. And he remembered the sight of the man who had orchestrated this coup, standing just a little ways distant. The treacherous General who had killed his Master.  
  
“Awake, Ren?” As his eyes began to focus, the former General's face bent over him, a misleadingly friendly smile resting with casual ease on his lips. “ _Comfortable?_ ” His mind scrambled to take stock of his surroundings. His situation. He was laying down, flat on his back on some kind of a table. A jolt of panic washed through him as he realized with a sickening horror that he _could not move_. His eyes flitted back and forth, fear crawling through his skin and constricting in his chest. A physical sensation of very real dread, tempered only as he watched Hux's gloved hand come down to caress the side of his face.  
  
“ _Shhh, relax_. I imagine this must be quite the shock for you.” More images flashed in his mind. Snoke, dead on the ground. The Master he had thought invincible, bleeding out in rivers of blood. The Force sending stabs of anguished pain through his body, his limbs and his head as the man who had taught him died, the agony he felt echoed in his student. He was brought back to the present then, and there was Hux, standing over him with a sinister smile across his face. _Hux never smiled_. Irony that he did so now, in the midst of the most cunning treachery to shake the First Order.  
  
“ _What.. did you...do._..” Kylo's lips moved with a sluggish kind of lethargy. It was the only movement he could make, the rest of his body feeling heavy and leaden. His eyes and his lips his only source of agency. His vocal chords struggled to form sound. “.. _to..me_..” The words were a breathy whisper. His breathing was low despite the panic that raced through him. Hux was adjusting his gloves now, pulling them tight against his fingers. The sight alone sent another tremor of fear through him.  
  
“Don't try to move. You won't be able to.” The familiar voice, the voice that once he might have welcomed as the voice of an ally, now sounded terrifying as the man towered over him. His cold eyes moving over his body. Kylo felt a shudder run through his form as he realized that he was naked. Bare before the man, the cool air light on his skin. For some reason this was disconcerting... Hux had seen him naked many times before, of course. Many times. But this felt _different_ in light of the man's recent actions of betrayal.  
  
“What do you feel?” Leather moved over his skin as the ginger's fingers touched his front. He tried to move. Found he could not. His lips were parted, drawing in breath after breath. He could feel the man's fingers as they dragged over his body. Moved from his shoulder down his torso. Applied pressure. His skin seemed to crawl in their wake. “. _..everything..._ ” He whispered the word, fascinated and appalled at just _how much_ he could feel. His skin felt like it was _alive._  
  
“Everything...” Hux's cold, accented voice echoed the sentiment back at him in a murmur of almost awed reverence. The steel table creaked as the black clad man sat his hip at his side, leaning over him with an affectionate smile. His eyes seemed to shine with a kind of intensity that rocked him to the core. “ _Good._.. I would hate for you to miss this.”  
  
Kylo could feel him leaning over him. Could feel his breath on his face as he grasped his chin, rough grip turning his head this way and then that. The room spun at the sudden motion as he lay there, still and docile. His body felt like it was boneless. Hux's body was so close to his he could feel it's presence like an electrical current. Fear clenched in his stomach.  
  
“I hope you know this is not _personal_ , Ren. I quite _enjoyed_ our time together...” The ginger let him go, gentle hands bringing his head to rest straight again so he was looking at the ceiling. He could feel his heart racing despite the strange sensation of _floating_ that his body was basking in. _What was Hux doing...?_  
  
“But you did not choose my side.” The man continued, and now Kylo could feel his hands on his thighs as he moved. His weight left the table as he stood again. “And I can't have such a powerful... _liability_ around when I am Emperor. I'm sure you understand.” His movements were done with such a deliberate slowness, fingertips only just grazing his skin. Moving inwards towards his groin.  
  
“ _What are...what are you going to do...?_ ” Kylo's breath was shallow as he breathed words. His mind attempting with desperation to sharpen itself enough to form some coherent kind of understanding. He could feel a strange pain in his chest as dread washed over him, his body trembling in response. Hux eyed him with a bored kind of contemplation, ignoring the question with a wave of his hand as he stroked his inner leg. The sensation elicited a shameful moan from him, Kylo barely aware of the source of the sound as he felt the rush of shuddering pleasure through his skin.

“There is a plant native to the planet Dagobah. It secrets a rather deadly toxin... but in less _concentrated_ amounts, it can act as a paralyzing _drug_.” The man's voice was strict and to the point, as though lecturing on topics dull and mundane. “I've experimented for a long time with how much I needed to dilute in order to simply subdue. Has it _worked?_ ” Here his voice took on a more eager hitch. As Kylo watched him move, circling the table and leaving his line of sight he thought he caught a twinkle in his otherwise steel cold eyes.

Kylo remembered. He remembered panting, his body tired and sweating from the exertion, lightsaber clasped between both hands. He remembered slicing his way through another trooper, blood spraying everywhere, on the walls, on the ground and on his skin. And he remembered the bolt that hit him in the neck, even as he whirled around to strike at whoever had shot such an assault. He remembered the way the world had gone hazy. And then spun in a crazy, disorienting circle as he fell to the ground.

Just as the world was fading to black, he could see the boots of the man who had betrayed the Order in his line of sight, his vision diagonal and low to the ground. A voice, quickly fading, but intimately familiar, calling out with customary authority to his men.  
“Don't kill him, take him alive. _He's mine_.”  
  
Now he tried in earnest to move, struggle, lift himself off the table that Hux had laid him out on. But his body did not respond to him. He tried to move his hand, just his hand, but it was was heavy and immobile. Then he tried to reach out with the Force, and found with a shock even it's presence cut off from him. As though blocked, unreachable. Panic rushed through him, but he was powerless to do anything about it, the fear showing in nothing but the elevated breathing and the widening of his eyes.

“Of course you're a _special_ opponent.” Hux continued to speak, his hand moving between his captives legs. The leather was soft and hard against him. He could feel the blood rushing through his body, could hear it loud like a river as his heart beat like a drum. His cock stiffening under Hux's expert touch. “So I laced it with saliva from a ysalamir to inhibit your Force abilities as well. Took me a rather long time to collect all the necessary ingredients, I must say.”

Kylo's body was trembling now as he felt the slow, calculated touch of the man who had shared his bed for months. He moved his lips, trying to find words to articulate the fear that was coursing through him, the desire at the intimate touch. The hurt at the betrayal. The _longing_. With sluggish progress he managed to form words. “ _But... what._.” There was a tremor in his voice, his eyes wide and staring up at the ginger haired man leaning over him.

Hux continued to speak as though he hadn't heard him. His hand tightened around the length of Kylo's cock, pulling a moan from his lips as though he were an instrument to be played. A light chuckle came from him in response as he began to stroke him with smooth, lazy pulls. “The drug doesn't inhibit feeling _sensation_ though..” Kylo closed his eyes, giving himself for a moment over to the feeling of leather against his skin, his whole body crawling with heat. Hux's smile was unsettling. Compelling. _Frightening_. “In fact as a side effect it rather _heightens_ them... so you should still feel this.”

When Kylo opened his eyes he saw a glint of light shining off the sharp end of a rather smallish blade, clutched with delicacy in Hux's gloved hand. For some reason it made him laugh, a small chuff of sound bursting through his lips at the sight of so small and so _innocent_ looking a blade. Such a thing was nothing to him. _And yet.._. He was helpless, laid out like a sacrifice, unable to move or use the Force. He swallowed, his lips heavy and his throat dry. “ _Hux...Why..._.”

They had never particularly _liked_ each other, even as they had shared each others beds. Hux was a stuffy, overworked hard ass and Kylo... Kylo was an out of control, undisciplined and uncouth creature. Memories rushed through him of their petty rivalries and heated bickering, that had only recently turned to meetings and trysts in secret to relieve them both of mutual sexual frustration. It had never been a romance. It had been a sordid and tumultuous affair. But though he had _disliked_ Hux, he had never suspected Hux of being a _traitor_.

As if in echo of his thoughts, Hux's grin widened as his eyes turned to consider the blade in his hand. Turning it this way and that. Inspecting it in the light. “I told you. I can't have a powerful Force user like you around to threaten my rule. You should have _chosen my side_ , Ren. I would have kept you forever... but, I think I still will.”

Kylo watched with apprehension as the blade was pressed against his skin. Innocent and coaxing, drawn with care over the goosebumps that had raised across his body. Not yet breaking into flesh. The cold steel made his heart race in his chest, his breathing quickening as he tried to move away. He trembled as he looked first at the metal that was _not yet_ plunging into him. Then back up into the eyes of the man holding the small, deadly blade.

“Don't worry... _you'll like this_.” Hux held his gaze, his eyes piercing as they bored right into his core. His voice was soft, far softer than Kylo could ever remember him sounding. An almost indulgent smile turning his lips. He looked almost friendly. That in itself was terrifying enough. “If I'm going to kill my _lover_ it better be as _intimate_ as I can make it. I owe you _that much at least_ , Ren.”

Panic overwhelmed him as he watched, helpless, as the blade pressed into his skin. It was a surreal, drawn out moment, time stretching out around the blade. He could not even scream, nothing more than a sudden burst of air leaving his lungs at the feel of the deep cut, drawn along his collarbone. He felt a tickle as blood seeped from the wound, pain screaming it's way through every nerve ending in his body. It would have been easier if he had been tied down instead of paralyzed. If he could struggle. Scream. But his body did nothing. All he could do was take it.

Hux continued to pull the blade through his skin as though he were a canvas, the bright red lines following the cold steel vibrant and alive, perfect against his pale pallor. As blood rolled down his sides he could see Hux move, his eyes steady and intent on what he was doing. Whimpered sounds of agony poured from Kylo's lips. A flush of shame rising to his cheeks at his own impotency.  
  
“You look _so lovely_ like this, you know.” The knife moved to the left, angling downwards. Another breath hissed through Kylo's teeth, when inside his mind he was screaming. Nothing had ever hurt so much in all his life. He wanted to move, to bolt, to run. “ _Really_ , you are a work of art when you're in pain.” The blade turned downward. “When you're _afraid_.” Hux's cold eyes met his widened ones, pain dancing across his retinas. The blade turned up again. “When you're _vulnerable._ ”

A strangled cry died in his throat as the ginger's unshaking hand completed a hexagon across his torso.  
“ _Hux...please..._ ” He wanted to pass out. He wanted to scream. The injustice of not even being able to scream choked at him, mewling sounds clawing their way out his throat in protest. His eyes searched for the eyes of the First Order General, even as he continued, plunging the knife into flesh again and drawing it in a circle. “ _Hush..._ I've only barely _started_ Kylo. These are small cuts. I'm surprised you're begging already.”  
  
The _small cuts_ were deep, the pain maddening and unrelenting. He could feel the metal blade separating flesh from flesh. The smell of blood was filling the room, coppery and strong. The gloved hand clasping the blade finished a circle inside the hexagon. Kylo's eyes darted down to the design being carved into him. Another would-be scream languished deep inside of him, crying for release as Hux began to make a series of shorter cuts, inwards from the circle. The symbol of the First Order.  
  
“Beautiful...” The man looked at him, took in the trembling, bleeding form in front of him with eyes softened, dancing with a kind of sadism that Kylo had never known before. Hux had never spoken with such tenderness to him before, had never praised him and cooed over him gently like this before. He felt a wave of emotion, fighting past the pain. Hux was looking at him as though he were a _lover_ , not a quick fuck in a bathroom stall after an argument to scratch an itch and nothing more. But as though he were his _lover_. Tears welled up in his eyes, blushing under the intensity of the General's appreciative gaze.

Then the man leaned forward, and plunged the knife in just below his collarbone. If he could have screamed, it would have been a blood curdling _shriek._ His vision went dark for a moment as his mind raced to keep hold of consciousness, but with stubbornness the light came back. Nothing had ever hurt so badly as the knife went deeper...deeper... _deeper._

And then the ginger _pulled._  
  
It was a sharp knife, but even it had some trouble moving through that much of his body. His mind was thrashing against itself, wanting to move, unable to resist. All he could do was lie there as the man cut him open from one end of his torso to the other, gutting him like he was a fish. The only semblance of a scream a huff of breath on his lips. He watched in horror as his body opened before the man. His vision awash with the colour red, the stink of it filling his nostrils. The deep incision moved straight down the centre of the First Order insignia.

At a certain point he could no longer tell one pain from another, as his senses were overloaded, his body going into shock. He felt a warmth rush through him, terrified fascination as he watched Hux's gloved hands, shiny and slick with blood, sink into the wound. Then they parted, with agonizing and deliberate slowness, as the his fingers pried him open. The smell alone of blood and bodily fluids was enough to make him want to hurl, his stomach twisting as he felt air touch organs that had never felt air before in his life. Hux's eyes were intent upon him, watching with a morbid fascination as his insides were revealed.

“What shall I _keep_ , hmm?” The malevolent smile that turned his lips looked positively sinister, a crazed kind of eagerness written across his face. Kylo tried to stir, his mind wracked with the pain and the horror. He could feel Hux's hands inside of him, touching him in ways nothing ever had. “ _Hux..._ ” His lips formed the name in a whine of longing and fear. Hux's hands moved under his skin. It was painful, but it was also electric. It awoke a strange kind of yearning. When Hux spoke, his voice was mesmerizing in it's sweetness, dripping with honey and venom. “I must have _some_ kind of memento of our affair. Something to remember you by. Don't you want me to remember you?”

 _Oh, yes..._. his mind cried out, silent and frozen. Trapped in this strange state of inertia. _I want... you to remember me...._ in the midst of the pain he felt deeply moved, tears streaming down his cheeks as he tried to nod his head. If this was the end of his life, he wanted his lover to _remember_ him. To _love_ him.

_If someone is to kill me, I'd rather it be you..._

The gloved fingers moved low, organs and blood squelching as they passed through his body. “Shall I keep your kidneys? _Pretty_ things...” His body stiffened as he could feel hands grasping at something inside of him. Touching, holding, _squeezing_ at things inside of him. Even as the pain ebbed and flowed it felt strange. It felt deliriously intimate. “I don't think your stomach is quite as elegant if I'm perfectly honest.” Hux's eyes raised to meet his. To take in the horror, the fear, and the hope written through them. The desire. The longing for affection. His entire body was shaking, his eyes wide and glassy as he breathed, low shallow breaths. He could feel his own heart beating in a palpable way, in a way he had never felt it before. Deprived of any way to resist the pain, it was starting to morph into an altogether different experience. It was starting to feel _good._ Like floating through a lake of almost erotic sensation.  
  
“ _Shhh shh..._ ” The General's voice was soothing and melodic as he whispered to him in low, calming tones. It was making him relax into the man's blood coated touch. “Nobody has _ever_ known you this closely before, you know that? And nobody _ever will._ ” Hux was right... a sob worked it's way through his throat as he considered just how close he was to this man now. How close Hux was to _him_. Nobody else had _ever_ seen him like this. Had ever _touched him_ like this. He felt overwhelmed, his tongue working to try to form sound as he breathed out the man's name once more. “ _Huxx._.”  
  
The ginger's hands were removed, sliding from him with a sticky kind of sound that made him cringe and pant. The man's hands were covered in blood now, shining bright under the light. He reached down to touch him with a gentle caress over his shoulder, petting him with an absentminded air as he looked him over. His breathing was heavy now himself, and Kylo could see the bulge of arousal in his own pants. “ _So pretty.._.” He breathed the words as he watched the blood trailing behind his fingertips. “I should paint you all in red.” He raised a hand to caress his face, scarlet liquid staining his cheek and then his lips. He could taste the tang of copper as Hux's thumb smeared it across them, painting them like lipstick.

“Shall I keep your hand perhaps? That seems like a suitable trophy...” The man took the knife in his grip again, moving to his right hand, still as stone at his side. Kylo felt the blade press down into his wrist, and he felt a moan bubble forth from his red soaked lips. He wanted to beg, to plead with him to stop in the same moment as he wished it could last forever. He shuddered as the knife cut deeper, each throb of pain a wave of pleasure. His whole body was on fire, one nerve ending that was being expertly played. This was _sex._ No, this was _better_ than sex. This _destroyed_ and _stimulated_ him deeper and more profoundly than sex. This connected the two of them more deeply than sex _ever_ could. _Irrevocably_. He felt the knife stop, pulling out of his bleeding wrist. He wondered with a giddy huff of laughter how much longer he could survive this much blood loss.

“On second thought I think I have a better idea.” Kylo felt a rush of heat as the man leaned over him, the knife clattering to the table. His lips caught his in a breathless kiss, the man's tongue rolling out to lap at the blood that coated his mouth. He could feel him, slick and wet, as he slid his hands into his chest in the same breath as he slid his tongue into his mouth. Felt a sickening pull inside of him, a horrible feeling of extreme pressure amidst the pain that coursed through him and poured out of his body in rivers.

A moan of entrancement sounded through the room, a gurgle of amazed rapture as he felt a part of him leave his chest. Watched in morbid fascination as something large and dark, beating in tandem with the pulse of his veins was pulled in Hux's hands. The world seemed to slow, time became an infinite void of meaningless stasis as he watched his own heart beating, outside of himself. Long strands still connected it to him, it was still attached, just.... _out_. It was _not supposed to be out_. And yet... it felt oddly comforting, exciting. He hadn't thought himself capable of love. The tired old sentiment of giving one's heart to someone else had never meant anything to him. But now it seemed to make sense in a sickeningly fascinating way. _Of course_ he would end up being so _fucked up_ that only a literal interpretation of such sentiment could move him.

“I think this will make a nice a display piece.” The General held the organ aloft, turning it a few ways, inspecting it under the light. Each small movement, each stroke of a thumb pressed against bleeding arteries made him gasp for breath, breath that was becoming harder and harder to suck in through ruined lungs and parched throat.

“Should I keep you like this, do you think?” Kylo looked at the heart, _his_ heart, unable to look away, his eyes unblinking. He felt numb. Pain was meaningless now, and all that mattered was _Hux_. Hux _owned_ him. Hux _always had_ , if he was honest, ever since the first moment he had made some snide remark that cut him to the core and made him doubt himself. Hux had _always_ owned him. “Hook you up to machinery, keep you drugged and cut open like this forever... keep you in this stasis of pain? A beautiful _display piece_ on my wall, hung above my throne for all to see.”  
  
The image rushed through his mind in a flash. Emperor Hux, seated on a throne of silver, bathed in the sinister glow of a red light. Kylo, naked, pinned to the wall like a trophy, his innards displayed, skin pulled back in pins and hooks. His heart, displayed as a separate piece, the only thing connecting him to it the veins that kept his blood beating through it even as he continued to gush out over the walls, the floors. Coating the room with him. Always in agony, trapped in a silent scream forever.  
  
“No... even _I_ am not _that_ cruel.” A scream finally loosed itself from between his cracked lips. His mouth contorted around it as Hux _pulled_ , ripping the heart loose from the veins that trailed from it to his chest. The pain shot through him like lightning, and he _screamed,_ his lungs giving one last and final heave before they tore apart as well under the cruel pressure.

He could only just see Hux removing his gloves, finger by finger. _That's odd..._ he thought, only just barely aware anymore, hanging onto consciousness by a thread. _Hux never takes off his gloves..._ It was an almost sensual performance, like a strip tease. A show put on only for him. _Just for him_. He saw bare hands place black gloves delicately to the side, next to the still pulsing heart that had once given him life. Saw the hands reach down to the man's side, gripping the blaster that he kept in the holster there.

“ _Don't worry.._.” The low lilt of the man's voice was soothing. It calmed him. Made him smile, his lips curling upwards as his body relaxed. “Only _I_ own your last moments. All of my other enemies will be put to death publicly, executed for the masses to see, _but not you_.” The blaster was levelled with his head, and as he looked into the barrel he felt tears streaking down his cheeks. “I own these moments. _Nobody else_.” Yes, this was a good way to go. This was perfect. Nothing had ever moved him like this before. Nobody had ever known him so _deeply_ like this before.  
  
When the blaster bolt shot through his head all he could see was a bright light. Pain went numb. Nothing mattered. As everything faded to black, he smiled.  
  
_This is a good way to go._

 

**Author's Note:**

> THANK YOU for reading this if you got through it! If it creeped you out then I did my job right! PLEASE let me know what you think of this, did it scare you? Move you? Disturb you? Your comments and feeback go a long way to encouraging me to keep writing! Thanks!


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